the bottom line of Bullshit, Inc

Dear valued employee, 

We would like to thank you on behalf of the shareholders for all the value you have created this quarter. We really could not have done it without you. You will find attached all sorts of charts, figures, and a selection of graphs which all go up and to the right, representing the great work this team has put together. 

We are honored to announce that as of this year, Bullshit is at an all time high. At no point in history has it ever been higher. But we won’t stop there. With your continued support, we’ll be able to grow Bullshit, Inc even more in the coming days, weeks, and years.

We know you recognize this not only as your greatest achievement, but your highest calling in life. Thank you for helping us increase the bottom line by not getting distracted in any other calling, creative endeavor, or entrepreneurial attempt. 

Sincerely, 

The Leadership Team of Bullshit, Inc. 

Thank you. Let’s have a great day.