August 7 | Old Man Trouble

Old man trouble doesn’t knock before entering—and he rarely turns up sober. He’ll rattle your finest china, juggle your knives, drink all your liquor and usher you out the door with a “kick me” sign taped to your ass. 

Old man trouble doesn’t call ahead to let you know he’s coming over. He doesn’t email, text, or write. He may leave you alone for years, never remembering your birthday, or suddenly show up with three suitcases, ready to take the guest bedroom. 

Old man trouble doesn’t help with the dishes. He won’t tidy up or make his bed or wipe his feet on the mat by the door. He won’t so much make himself feel at home as he will make sure no one feels at home, blasting music and singing along like the worst cantankerous teenager. 

Ah, old man trouble—still doing his worst after all these years, rearing his head at the worst possible moments and the worst possible places.

If he hasn’t visited in a while, well, no need to look over your shoulder—but might be worth spending a few minute hiding the silverware. And if he’s reading this over your shoulder? Well, he always moves on at some point.… Read the rest